brushfire"This, yes, this, it was always like this." -Stanley Koehler
REFLECTIONS OF AN EMPTY NESTER
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My father used to tell an apocryphal story about a farmer legendary in his county for his superhuman strength. According to the tale, he could lift a cow. How was this feat possible? Each morning, he would head to the barn and pick up a calf, beginning when it was a day old. By the time the calf was full grown, he was holding a cow.
The moral of this story is no accomplishment happens overnight. This reminder struck me as particularly appropriate this time of year as many of us decide on our new year’s resolutions. Marathons are run in steps, not miles. Books are written one page at a time; music is composed note by note. If you are looking to lose weight, recognize you didn’t gain those pounds in a day. If you have a daunting task ahead of you — a major project due at work, an exam to pass, a long-term home improvement undertaking — remember to break it down into bite-sized, manageable pieces. Baby steps get you as far, with time, as giant leaps. As my daughter’s college soccer coach told her when she was overwhelmed by a grueling workout schedule stretched out over months, take it one day at a time. I think the reason most resolutions for the year are abandoned by February is because people are too ambitious. Maybe this year I will commit to 12 things I hope to have done by the end of the year. Or I will pick one small daily task that, in 365 days, accumulates to an achieved milestone. A small, attainable goal leads to a sense of accomplishment; lofty, yet less achievable, goals often result in failure. So I may not publish that novel this year or go on that trip to Iceland or join a gym. But I may write in a daily journal, set aside money each month for a dream vacation or put a workout app on my phone. I may, as my friend Suzy suggests in her “Just One Thing” calendar — check it out on happygoluckygirl.me — focus on one thing each day to “nudge (me) toward greater health, happiness and well-being.” After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day. So if your goal is to pick up that proverbial cow, start with a day-old calf and one day, you may surprise yourself. This appeared in the Dec. 29, 2016 issue of the Grosse Pointe News.
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Mary Anne BrushJournalist, fiction writer, wife and mother |