brushfire"This, yes, this, it was always like this." -Stanley Koehler
REFLECTIONS OF AN EMPTY NESTER
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There's a certain irony when your 19-year-old son chastises you on your use of social media.
We teach our kids whatever they post is there for everyone to see. We want them to be aware of the ramifications as they apply for college and interview for that first coveted job. Now we're reading about the “social media footprint” of prospective appointees for positions in the government casting doubt on their fitness for office. Elected officials have lost jobs and damaged reputations due to an insensitive tweet or retweet. As parents, I believe there are times we can learn from our children. For example, I see adults texting in cars far more often than young people. My 20-something daughter once shouted “It can wait!” to a middle-aged woman driving with one hand on the wheel and her eye on her phone. And having a designated driver is assumed among the 21-year-old and over set. Isn't that what an Uber is for? Adults my generation are still navigating all this. “Honestly, Mom, do you actually read things people post on Facebook?” my son asked. “And when you post stuff, do you really think it's going to change anybody's mind?” Yes, I said, I do — at least to the first question. If it's someone whose opinion I respect, I will check it out. I do try to understand other people's perspectives. Or at least I think I do. As for changing someone's mind, no, sadly it won't. And it may — and has — resulted in hurt feelings and even lost friendships. As far as media in general is concerned, my son admitted he no longer knows what to believe, especially on Twitter. “It's like on the Internet, everybody has to be first,” he said. “That's how false information is spread.” I told him his grandparents got their news from the calm and soothing voice of Walter Cronkite — “the most trusted man in America,” according to an opinion poll — on the CBS Evening News. My son may not have heard of Walter Cronkite, but he got the point. Imagine a world, I might have told him, where there were three television networks and no cable TV. Imagine a world where journalists had time to check their sources and verify information while meeting a predictable deadline — where news was, literally, hot off the press. Imagine a world where being first wasn’t more important than being factual and reality didn’t blend into entertainment. Today we have access to instant information. There are many advantages to this, but there also are pitfalls. We hear about how we are each in our own “echo chambers” with information readily available to reinforce our existing opinions or biases. We also are easily duped, as is becoming increasingly evident with reports of a proliferation of false news stories serving as click bait for profit. When I was a child, there was a rumor Paul McCartney was dead and in fact had been for several years. That the world believed this for a while was shocking. Now this type of misinformation is commonplace — and Paul McCartney, as far as I know, is alive and well. “Your world frightens and confuses me,” Cirroc, the unfrozen caveman lawyer played by Phil Hartman, used to say on “Saturday Night Live.” This is the world we are navigating today. To borrow Cronkite's well-known parting catchphrase, “And that's the way it is.” This appeared in the Grosse Pointe News Nov. 24, 2016.
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Dear Trump Supporter,
Please understand, when I express my anger and grief and confusion and fear about the election results, I'm not directing this at you. You had your reasons to vote for Donald Trump just as I had my reasons to vote for Hillary Clinton. We each voted for with our conscience. We each want what's best for America. I understand that. Also, when I question your choice of a candidate, I'm not calling you a bigot or a racist or a misogynist or a homophobe or a xenophobe or any other “ism” or “phobe.” My beef is with Trump's views, expressed very clearly throughout his campaign, not yours. So stop with the memes and the outrage and the need to define the word “bigot” for me. I know what a bigot is. And stop calling me a poor loser. That hurts my feelings. Yes, I wish my candidate had won, but my feelings have less to do with losing and more to do with what lies ahead. I have so many questions for you, but let me begin with this. What kind of country do you want to see in four years when Trump's first term is over? Obviously you want jobs for all and economic prosperity and peace on earth; we all do. But what other promises did Trump make you hope he follows through on? What campaign promises do you hope he breaks? If you hope he has appointed a Supreme Court justice or two to overturn Roe v. Wade so that abortions are "sent to the ash heap of history," as Mike Pence said, I get that. But what other rights are you willing to see rolled back to get to this point? Where do you stand on the Marriage Equality Act? Would you like to see that reversed? Or LGBTQ rights in general? In other words, what other proverbial bathwater are you willing to throw out along with the baby? (Excuse the inappropriate idiom here.) According to the ACLU, if Trump follows through on his plans to amass a deportation force to remove 11 million undocumented immigrants, ban entry of Muslims into the country and aggressively surveil them, punish women for accessing abortion, authorize water boarding and other forms of torture and change our nation's libel laws to restrict freedom of speech, he violates the First, Fourth, Fifth, Eighth and Fourteenth Amendments. Which of these are you OK with? Because I understand a lot of Trump supporters voted on him as the candidate most likely to protect our Constitution. And one last question: If your answer is none of them, why in God's name did you vote for him? Sincerely, A Hillary Supporter Do you believe:
a. Obama is a Christian. b. Obama is a Muslim. c. Obama is a Muslim born in Kenya. Do you think: a. Black lives matter. b. All lives matter. Choose one: a. Trayvon Martin was shot and killed by a vigilante who should have been convicted for murder. b. George Zimmerman shot Trayvon Martin in self-defense. c. Trayvon Martin shouldn’t have been wearing a hoodie in the first place. d. Both b and c. Do you believe Colin Kaepernick is: a. Taking a knee during the playing of the National Anthem to protest police brutality. b. A football player who should just accept his $19 million annual salary, play ball and shut up already. c. A traitor to America. d. Both b and c. Do you think Donald Trump’s remarks about grabbing a woman’s p-word was: a. Disgusting. b. Just locker room talk. Do you believe: a. In common sense reforms to keep guns away from terrorists, domestic abusers and other violent criminals — including comprehensive background checks and closing loopholes that allow guns to fall into the wrong hands. b. Hillary Clinton is coming for your guns. c. President Barack Obama is coming for your guns, even though it’s been eight years and you still have them. d. You guessed it: both b and c. Do you believe “partial-birth” abortion: a. Is not an actual medical term, but a political term coined by anti-choice groups to foster opposition to abortions. b. Happens frequently and not just in extreme cases when something has gone terribly wrong or to save the life of the mother. c. Is when a doctor rips a full-term baby from its mother’s womb. Do you believe: a. We are stronger together. b. Only Trump can fix it. c. Trump will make America white again. d. Both b and c. Do you think Donald Trump: a. Cares only about himself. b. Cares about America. c. Cares about you. d. All of the above. If you answered “a” to all of these, you’re #WithHer. If you answered “b” to any of these, you’re a Trump supporter. If you answered "a" to one or more of them but plan to vote for Trump, you may want to reconsider. If you answered “c” or “d” to a single one of them, you’re an idiot. |
Mary Anne BrushJournalist, fiction writer, wife and mother |