brushfire"This, yes, this, it was always like this." -Stanley Koehler
REFLECTIONS OF AN EMPTY NESTER
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My oldest daughter, as she once observed, leads a project-based life. It struck me this approach has led to an admirable amount of productivity and creativity in her 28 years on this earth. That and a lot of “to do” lists. Last summer she was home for a few weeks before beginning a Ph.D. program in English. She already had a project in mind well before she arrived — publishing a family literary magazine. She put out a call for submissions to our extended family and, after a few gentle reminders and some prodding, entries came trickling in — poetry, short stories, photographs, essays, drawings, paintings and even a college thesis précis. Within weeks the journal was edited, designed, proofread and printed in a 192-page, perfect-bound volume representing work from 26 contributors. Project complete. Check. This summer, she was home a few weeks before setting off for Switzerland, for which she packed more books than clothes and designed an elaborate reading schedule in preparation for her qualifying exams in September. She had a different project in mind this year. Having watched “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” on Netflix — you know, the cheery young woman who asks you to examine every item you own and ask yourself, “Does it spark joy?” — she decided it was time to clean out her childhood bedroom of everything she had accumulated since we moved to Grosse Pointe when she was 8. While she was separating items, I would occasionally complain about something she was throwing away or donating. Her response always was: “But, Mom, we still have our memories.” So among bags of donated clothing was the dress she sewed for the homecoming dance her sophomore year of high school. The sewing machine she made it on found a new home in a local middle school life skills classroom, and she gave her treasured childhood books to an elementary school in Harper Woods, hoping rather than collecting dust on her shelves, they will find new life introducing children to the same joy of reading she carries with her to this day. Sometimes, seeking inspiration to “Marie Kondo” other areas of our house, I go up to her cozy attic bedroom on the third floor to reflect on what an uncluttered life looks like. Gone now are the outgrown clothing, sports uniforms, trophies, art projects, schoolwork and teen icon posters covering the slanted walls. In their place are a tidily made bed, organized desk with office and art supplies tucked away in drawers and an empty closet with a few spare hangers. Replacing the childhood line-up on the built-in shelves along one wall are favorite books that someday will make their way to a future home and just the right amount of family photos and sentimental trinkets to seem homey, but not overwhelming. On the walls, a collage of soccer photos and a framed poster of the U.S. women’s soccer team from the 1990s serve as reminders of glory days and heroes of the past. I look around at the relics of my daughter’s childhood and every single item sparks joy. This appeared in the Aug. 8 issue of the Grosse Pointe News.
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Mary Anne BrushJournalist, fiction writer, wife and mother |