brushfire"This, yes, this, it was always like this." -Stanley Koehler
REFLECTIONS OF AN EMPTY NESTER
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Dear Mrs. Wickert,
The basic premise of your open letter to Hillary Clinton is that the presidential nominee is not someone you can hold up to your daughter as a positive role model to women. You make your case boldly and proudly, concluding by saying, “In a way, I guess I should thank you, Mrs. Clinton. You have made it easy to teach my daughter who she does not want to aspire to be. Now may I have the courage to stand up and show her the woman she does want to be.” And I suppose you began by courageously posting this letter on your blog, Courageous Motherhood? Nice try, but there's one problem, as illustrated by this little footnote to your post: “I am not afraid of criticism or disagreement with my post, or my overall views. However, due to the fact that many are unable to have a civil conversation, and have resorted to threats and vicious name calling, I have decided to no longer accept comments on this particular post.” Not feeling so courageous now, are we? Oh, the irony. Hillary Clinton, the woman, wife and mother you feel so free to publicly criticize, has withstood 30 years of “threats and vicious name calling.” She even withstood a dog whistle to Second Amendment supporters by Donald Trump who falsely claimed that, if elected, she plans to abolish this right (she doesn't). She has been called every name under the sun, including the very worst things you can call a woman. She has been held to impossible double standards in the ugly world of politics dominated by men, vilified, slandered, lied about, insulted — you name it. One political operative even created an anti-Hillary Clinton group called Citizens United Not Timid — referred to by its acronym. He later lamented he could not think of a good acronym for B.I.T.C.H. And yet you couldn't withstand a day or two of public criticism without getting your feelings hurt. How's that for setting an example for your daughter? “As the mother of a beautiful young daughter, my desire is to teach her every day that she is priceless, valuable and precious beyond anything else in this world,” you wrote. “I tell her that God has placed her on this earth for a very specific reason. I make sure that she never doubts her place here.” I find it interesting the adjective you chose to describe your daughter is “beautiful.” Years ago I attended a lecture at a conference about educating girls. My older daughter was four at the time. The speaker said when people commented on how pretty her young daughter was, she — the mother — would reply, “And strong, too!” My husband and I have joked about this for years. We're proud of our beautiful daughters, too — but mostly we're proud they're strong and brave and know their own minds and aren't afraid to stand up for what they believe. In my book, Hillary Clinton presents a pretty good example of strength, courage, resilience and conviction in the face of incredible opposition. Do our daughters believe this as well? As adults in their 20s living independent lives, they can speak for themselves. But the texts they shared during the first presidential debate showed how proud they were to be female while watching Hillary Clinton stand up against the bullying rants of a misogynistic miscreant who couldn't even follow a simple instruction like “don't interrupt when it's not your turn.” (Our son chimed in too, by the way. Raising strong young men who support the rights of women is equally important.) Here is more of what one commenter on Facebook called your "sanctimonious drivel": "Mrs. Clinton, how can I possibly tell my daughter to follow you as an example after you allowed your husband to assault and demean multiple women throughout his political career?” Excuse me. Did I read that right? “You allowed your husband to assault and demean multiple women”? (The emphasis is all mine. As is the incredulous question mark.) Since when was this Mrs. Clinton's fault? Is there a little victim shaming going on here? Do you mean to imply that when a woman's husband is unfaithful, it's the wife's fault? Or just when it's Hillary Clinton? “What about the sisterhood, Mrs. Clinton?” you asked. “Did you expose your husband for his abuse? No! Instead, you enabled him as the abuser and tried to silence his victims. How can you live with yourself? Female empowerment? Nice try!” Well, nice try on a complete non-sequitur there, but that's the least of my issues. Let's start with your vilifying a woman who worked on saving her marriage — some might say she upheld her sacred vows — in the face of public humiliation and scrutiny, forgave her husband — “To the Lord our God belong mercy and forgiveness” (Daniel 9:9) — and raised her own strong, capable daughter in the process. Even Donald Trump — not known for saying nice things about women unless it's something crude about some aspect of their anatomy — called Chelsea Clinton a nice young woman. Wrapping it all up in a neat and tidy bow pretty enough to adorn your daughter's hair, you wrote: “My prayer, Mrs. Clinton, is that I would be able to teach my daughter how to be a true woman. A strong woman. A self-respecting woman. A woman who sees herself through the eyes of her Creator. I pray that she would be a woman of compassion, kindness, service, selflessness. One who has integrity and looks out for the needs of others.” Ummmm (to borrow your word)... I think you just described Hillary Clinton. Sincerely, Mary Anne Brush
1 Comment
suzy berschback
9/30/2016 05:03:15 am
Well said Maryanne! I am excited about Brushfire!
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Mary Anne BrushJournalist, fiction writer, wife and mother |